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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

In WTF News: A Man is Caught Making Love to...SWISS CHEESE! SMDH!

Well apparently there is a man in Pennsylvania who has a strange love of cheese and is not afraid to show it. The mysterious and SICK Swiss Cheese Pervert drives around in his silver or black sedan, exposes himself to women, and offers them money to perform oral sex on him with the cheese. Several people have reported the man harassing them and the Special Victims Unit of Mayfair, Penn are currently investigating. The The Mayfair Town Watch of Mayfair, Penn posted a picture of the man on facebook to warn the women of Mayfair, Penn to be careful and be on the lookout of this sick individual. Friday a young lady from the town posted to her twitter account that she had seen the guy and he was a true creep.

Another woman by the name of Gabby Chest in the nearby town of Bridgeburg said that the reports and descriptions of the man seemed all too familiar. She once was contact by a man on who resembled the picture. Here's the message the man sent to her:
"I developed this fetish to help me deal with my sexual urges. I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese. I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate. Now tho, after finding several girls to do it for me, I prefer having girls do it for me, instead of myself."
Another post on Reddit in 2008 that quotes a post from the Philadelphia Craigslist:
"I have a big heart, and it was crushed time and again by the opposite sex, that and a very strong sex drive, well I am lucky I never became a rapist. My fetish grew out of desperation for sex with a woman. I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections, girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls."
"I tried many different kinds of cheese, but settled on Swiss as the best. First and foremost, if ever a picture of cheese is used, most of the time they use a representation of Swiss cheese. But also because of it's eye patterns, texture, and the way it feels against my penis."
This man has been described as heavy set male who is 40-50 years old. He may drive a newer model silver sedan and as well as a newer black sedan.

Oh lord have mercy now you have to worry about a dude sexually assaulting cheese! OMG its hard enough to walk the streets and feel safe as it is. This is definitely something that a person should have to register for on the sex offender registry. There are guys on that list that have done nothing but streaked, urinated or got high and went naked in their front yard, but they have to register as a sex offender for a certain amount of time. This guy needs to be caught period. These kinds of guys don't stop they escalate. Pretty soon he'll be peeping, masturbating in public and then he'll escalate to full blown rape. He even mentions it in one of his messages!

Women of Mayfair Town, Penn protect yourself carry mace, a knife or a gun. IF THIS GUY APPROACHES YOU CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!